The Clock Stops Here...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Spin Baby Spin

You've got to love modern dentistry...Between sealants, fluoride treatments, white fillings and drilless technology, today's kids are oblivious to the previous generations suffering---alright mine.

"Drill Baby Drill", was not coined by Sarah Palin. No, it was the mantra of Dr. Lawrence Kuhn, of Bayside, Queens. Long before I reached chronological double digits, I already hit that milestone in cavities. My trophy year was 18...he must have counted some that were developing in my wisdom teeth, though they did not make their debut for another 12 years.

The only silver lining to my oral trauma, was that Dr. Kuhn was a thoughtful provider of nitrous oxide. (Thankfully, there was a "no smoking" policy in the waiting room, lest the office would go up like a flame broiler). While Dr. Kuhn was busy grinding my enamel to parchment paper, I was happily floating out the window, with a pool of saliva on my chin.

The result of my childhood maiming, was countless adult visits to the Endodontist and their friends that specialized in crowns and bridges. Had my husband realized that my mouth and its maintenance, was the financial equivalent of a condominium, he would have rightly demanded a pre-nup.

All of this brings me to the present day. I am on a bi-annual cleaning schedule, that was conceived with "prevention" in mind. Unfortunately, I rescheduled my appointment so many times, I was 4 months overdue. The Hygienist at my Dentist's office, is disarmingly sweet and perky. In reality, she is a Cavitron wielding warrior.

My normally friendly dentist, came in to review the triage...Maybe it was the blood splattered wall, maybe it was her request for a sling, but for some reason, I wasn't feeling any love. Clearly, he was peeved that I fell off the prevention wagon.

My penance, was to up my commitment to three cleanings a year and a promise to fill my prescriptions for enamel building toothpaste and a gum rejuvenating rinse...and use them.

While I was getting my prescriptions filled, I perused the oral care aisle and spied the Crest Spin Brush Swirl. Why not upgrade my manual toothbrush with a little more ooomph??? It promised 20 x the cleaning power of a traditional hand held toothbrush and cost only marginally more. $50 bucks later, I left the drugstore with new resolve and couldn't wait to give it a swirl.

Well, I loved how it gently massaged my gums and my teeth actually did feel cleaner. The only glitch??? Neither the head nor the batteries are replaceable and it is only recommended for 3 months use. This has got to be the least green product on the market.

What can I tell you? 100 years from now they will find a few million of these gizmos in a land fill, intact, lying next to bricks of silver amalgam fillings. Yes. I am feeling a little guilty about it, but really...haven't I suffered enough???


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