The Clock Stops Here...

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Pres-shah!!!

Oy, Girls!!! I am starting to hear a lot of this, "Whatever you Blog about, I run right out and buy". You do??? Well, I am flattered of course, but now feel an additional sense of responsibility to y'all.

Here is something, I feel supremely confident about recommending: Benefit's BAD gal (extra black) waterproof liner. I love, the concept of the Benefit brand...specific fixes, for specific beauty ailments. I love, the adorable packaging and cheeky descriptions. The only thing I usually don't love, is the product. That's a wee bit of a problem, but not enough to deter me, from once again, rolling the beauty dice at Sephora.

BAD gal liner, winningly, addresses all my needs; It has a gel like consistency, that truly glides. It is deeply pigmented. It doesn't budge or smudge, yet plays well with a Q-tip. It is not self sharpening---which I prefer, (honing it to the sharpness of a #4 blade, every other day). Though it is only available in extra black, don't let that deter you...everyone needs a black liner in their beauty arsenal.

So, if there is anything else I can do for you---prepare your taxes, take your kid for their first drive on a highway...let me know. I've got a pretty good set of shoulders, for my friends.


Monday, March 23, 2009

That's Amore

You can call me shallow, (I have certainly been called worse), but I don't think that is the core of the situation. Granted, with the financial meltdown, I have spent less time socializing, (is anyone going out anymore)? and more time tethered to the television. Lately, my taste in print media, is mirroring my T.V. viewing, high brow to low brow, N.Y. Times with my morning coffee, to my nightly romp with the Post. I wait, like a faithful golden retriever, for my husband to walk through the door and toss me the nightly edition, as if it were a T-bone. Pounce!!!

What has become of me??? The Post announced last week, that the "Real Housewives" franchise, was heading south, down the Jersey Turnpike...real life Carmela Soprano's!!! Oh, joy!!! The fact that this is the highlight of my week, has me a bit concerned, but nevertheless, I am over the moon. Dutifully, I cut out the article, like a prized sample sale listing, to share with my Gal Pal's. But why???

As much as I love the N.Y. Housewives and can relate more to their fashion passion, love of the Hampton's, a great party, a good restaurant, the value of education and well tended home, on a gut level, I will understand the Mob wives too. As Kay Corleone concedes in the Godfather, "It's that Sicilian thing, that goes back 2000 years". Kay knows, she will always be an outsider and at his core, Michael's love for "a familia" will always come first.

My maternal side is of Italian heritage, via Naples and Sicily. Though there are similarities between Jews and Italian's (love of food, family, celebrations and their, "sons"), something still hums along in the atmosphere, that other Italian's can sniff out like a truffle hound. Yes, it's a lotta...A lotta hair, nails, makeup, heels, jewelry, food, wine, sass, love, laughs, feuds and fun. But, it is also more subtle and kindred---a long knowing look, (tramp)!, a certain hand gesture, (when is that stunod gonna move)?, no need for a spoken word...

So, no matter what crops on on Tuesday, May 15th, count me out...I already have a previous family commitment.


Saturday, March 21, 2009

All a Twitter

The way we communicate these days continues to retrench...The only messages on my answering machine at home, are from thoughtful receptionists, reminding me of upcoming appointments...I almost barely remember to check.

My friend Ilissa left me a message the other day. "I have to apologize. I feel like the only time I call you lately is from CVS!!! By the way, thanks for recommending that Maybelline lipstick in, "Petal Attraction". I liked it so much, I went back and bought two more". "Let's catch up soon. Bye"!!!

Well that was revealing...I now know my friend is either a "hoarder", (which I get, we all been stung, by having products that we love, disappear into discontinued purgatory) or a stasher, (leaving things in strategic places, glove compartments, handbags and vanities), for quick retrieval. (I know, I know, "people who live in glass houses, should not throw stones")...

I called back her cell and reached voicemail, instead. "Don't worry. I know you love me, for me and not just my referrals. By the way...did you pick up the L'Oreal Everpure shampoo and conditioner I recommended??? Talk soon"!

Our next communication came, via text message. "Just got out of the shower!!! The lather was amazing and the conditioner smelled delicious". "Your the best" LOL :). Uh oh. Now I am wondering what her garage looks like... is she already stocking up??? Is an intervention looming???

Maybe I should leave Ilissa a message of concern on her Facebook Wall. Surely our mutual friends will chime in, if there really is a problem...I am hoping she doesn't Twitter back an answer, because that's where I draw the line...the allure, alludes.

I have a crazy idea. I am going to invite Ilissa to meet me for lunch. Face to face, without mechanical devices...Don't worry Iliss, I'll keep my BB on vibrate, just in case we don't recognize each other anymore.


Sunday, March 15, 2009


After my recent near bout with Alopecia, trying to remove L'Oreals Double Extend Mascara, (See Wooly Willy, 2/3/09), I resisted the urge to pick up Maybelline's new, Lash Stilletto Ultimate Length, mascara, during my return swing to CVS. Loved the packaging, black and red, sleek and glossy, with a mascara wand, replacing a long tapered stilletto heel. I don't know why on earth it appeals to me, but the idea of a Vitamin B-5 enriched, "patent leather shine" sounded new and sexy. Was I ready for another potential assault on my lashes with a stilletto??? No.

A few days later, one of my TotalBeauty Blogging buddies, posted about the opportunity to sample Lash Stilletto, via an L.A. Marketing company...any takers??? O.K. sisters, I am no angel, send one pronto, (if you need any additional information, Social Security number, Passport, let me know). This type of coincidence is my little slice of beauty heaven.

Rushing to meet my old NYC roommate Lori, to celebrate her Birthday with friends at Avra, I am on the train and realize, I forgot to put on mascara. Please consider, that the odds of this happening, are the same as my forgetting to put on panties, but happened. I am now in the awkward position of having to do a PDG...Public Display of Grooming. I shudder, remembering my commuter days, where I saw people publicly, using nail clippers, nose hair trimmers and once, an electric razor, on the train. Am I now, going to be that type of person??? You betcha.

I happened to have my Lash Stilletto, still packaged, in my handbag. I delicately sever the paper and plastic packaging like a neurosurgeon, forgetting that it is a freebie. At this point in my PDG, I could have opened it with my bi-cuspids...I have no decorum or dignity...One oddity I must remark on---did you ever notice, that if you apply mascara, seated with a hand mirror, you will perfectly coat, every lash, from root to tip? Why isn't this standard operating procedure for mascara application???...but I digress.

I like the square, "tube" and I open it with an open mind. Yup, that's one long, thin pointy wand, usually not my favorite. The instructions remind you not to let the mascara dry between coats, so I am working feverishly, to the relief of my seat mate. Result??? Fantastic! Super long, deeply black, shiny, (in a good way) and tidy, (also in a good way, because there was no way, I was stooping to Q-Tip patrol on Metro North).

Lash Stilletto lasted all day, through lunch, a nap and a party, without a touch up or a flake...Last stop, was taking it all off. Gently, I applied my best eye make up remover, prepared for duel with my cotton ball...Not this time!!! It came off as easily as it came on.

In the battle of the "lengthening mascaras", Lash Stilletto, is pointedly, the winner. When it runs out, will I buy it on my own dime???
You betcha.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Nightly Rituals

What is your nightly ritual? We all have them. I liked being lulled to sleep by the T.V. I alternate between stimulating my brain, watching the deliciously entertaining Charlie Rose, or anesthetizing it with the deliciously entertaining, Patty Stanger, of the Millionaire Matchmaker. Either way, I am happy.

Throughout a day filled with the application and removal of dozens of products on my person, the last thing that gets applied each night, has been hanging around nightstands for the last 117 years, Smith's Rosebud Salve.

Formulated in 1892, by druggist George C. Smith, Smith's Rosebud Salve, continues to operate as a family owned enterprise, to this day. Known for its ability to soothe chapped skin, lips, baby bottoms, cuticles and blemishes, it is in fact, an "old fashioned", modern miracle.

I am a Focus Group's, dream candidate, for what inexpensive, non-essential items, should be boobie trapped, around the check out aisle, for impulse purchases. I could cruise the Mediterranean, some summer, if I refrained from buying packs of Kleenex, mini bottles of Purell, breath mints and eyeglass repair kits, on my way out of CVS. Don't getting me started on the damage done on the waiting line at Sephora, but alas, this is how I found, my cherished Rosebud Salve.

How could I possibly resist its adorable retro packaging? This is the stuff of legends and for under 6 bucks, a bargain to boot. It was love at first swipe!!! Delicately scented, lighter in consistency than Vaseline or Elizabeth's Arden's 8 Hour Cream , my lips, in a few short days, were pouty and full in the morning. Was it my imagination, or was that teeny, tiny vertical line, on my left upper lip, gone???

I am usually a quicker study, but I recently noticed a little more crinkling under my eyes. I think, I may have erred, when I ignored the warning on my Reversital Microdermabrasion stick, to "avoid the under eye area". ("Like the Bubonic Plague")---That at least, I would have paid attention to...Yes, indeed, those aluminum oxide crystals, were a tad aggressive for the delicate under eye area. And thus, a watershed beauty moment...why not, try a thin layer of Rosbud Salve, under my eyes???

Results??? Truly, amazing, and just a teeny, tiny uptick in my nightly regiment, that is well worth it...At this point, I am thankful that Queen Helene's Cold Cream, is still only sold in tubs---otherwise that too, might find its way onto my nightstand.


Saturday, March 7, 2009

Like a Virgin

I recently received another "sneak peek", from TotalBeauty. Every evening, I open my front door, hoping to have been delivered a gift from the hairy, fairy, who drives the UPS truck. Who doesn't love opening a present?

This time, L'Oreal, has sent two, shimmering, full size tubes, of their new, breakthrough, EverPure, "sulfate- free", shampoo and conditioner, formulated for color treated hair, (they knew)?

Sulfates, apparently, are responsible for stripping and dulling, color treated hair, (who knew)? They have figured out, how to add 5, "naturally derived surfactants", silicone and UVA and UVB filters, to protect our hair, for up to 32 washes. (That's 4 months worth for me...I hope 4 months of grey coverage will be the next "breakthrough", up L'Oreal's sleeve). In addition, they are 100% vegan and have added rosemary, juniper and mint, to the conditioner, to invigorate our senses.

As I have previously Blogged, (Chemical Dependencies, December 2008), I don't really mind, a little chemical zing. In my experience, that is usually the key to what makes something work. In my head, I have now made the leap that sulphates=lather. Without them, I envision what it would be like to be washing my hair, in dull, grey dishwater, at a Greek diner.

I could not have been more wrong!!! This was possibly, the richest, creamiest, most luxuriant lather, that ever trussed my tresses. Ohhh la la!!! It also rinsed out beautifully, without stripping my hair and leaving it too squeaky clean, (ya know)? Next came the gel like conditioner, that did smell minty and fresh...Much more Canyon Ranch than Greasy Spoon.

All and all, a fabulous experience, but as well you know, we are only at the midway point---How did it look after it was blow dried??? Without exaggeration, like the virgin tresses of my youth. Incredibly thick, glossy and manageable. It also stayed cleaner between washings.

I immediately mention it to my friends Suzanne and Lori, who coincidentally, chose to purchase it themselves. Both of them raved as well, about the L'Oreal EverPure experience.

If you are at the stage where most of your thrills and chills are coming from a shimmering pink tube, go buy yourself a little present. After all... "You"re Worth It"...



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