The Clock Stops Here...

Monday, January 12, 2009

Rumer Rumor's

O.K.- Here's how this is going to go...Having committed to the 66th Golden Globes last night, (leaving Jack Bauer to fend for himself), I am going to give voice to all the ugly truths and no, tsk tsking, because you were thinking, the exact same thing.

Firstly, the nice nice. The Golden Globes are usually a more low key affair than the Oscar's, but I loved that everyone duded up. We could use a huge dose of glamour, at this moment. For the most part, strapless gowns, with statement jewelry ruled and here is who rocked it:

The divine and charming Kate Winslet, Anne Hathaway, Laura Linney, Olivia Wilde, Penelope Cruz, Demi Moore and Eva Langoria Parker, (who finally laid off on those doughnuts).

Secondly, do you know anyone, who has ever seen 30 Rock???
I don't. Though, if Tina Fey's acting skills, mimic her comic mimicry, perhaps she deserves all, of the awards she has garnered. But golly, wouldn't it be swell if somebody else got to have one??? Obviously, the Hollywood Foreign Press does not subscribe to Showtime...if they did, Mary Louise Parker would be packing her Globe this morning.

Thirdly, not to be mean, BUT...what's the story with Sally Field's neck? Susan Sarandon's teeth? Anna Pacquin's tooth? Jennifer Lopez's ears? Jennifer Lopez's arse? (Were the twins under there)? Debra Messing's head? And Maggie Gylenhaal's powder blue, one shoulder, cheetah gown, Why make things worse, when she already has to contend with a prettier sibling???

What about, The Curious Case of Dustin Hoffman? I am fairly certain, that Emma Thompson, in a black moo moo, gave birth to him, on stage last night.

Was that Renee Zellweger, or, Sharon Stone, presenting in Morticia's costume from the Addam's Family?

Was that Eva Mendes, or, Jane Jetson, presenting in those ivory curtains?

Was that Drew Barrymore, or, Jane Mansfield, reincarnate, sporting that platinum blond bouffant?

And finally, is there any truth to the rumor about Rumer? Bruce Willis, allegedly, is not her biological father... Rumer, is the progeny of Demi Moore and Jay Leno, (during a legal separation, of course)...

Alright, so I started it...but it's possible...don't ya think???



  1. haha! this made me laugh! I HATED eva mendes dress...yet it's already being copied. I loved Demi and Winslet...understated, yet so fresh and chic... but speaking of Demi, so, so many neutral almost flesh-colored gowns....were they trying to look understated...or naked?? sigh, I miss color, already. Luckily, Christina Applegate was a "bright" spot in all of this, although I didn't particularly love that color yellow on her, or the fabric of her dress. We can't have it all I suppose... and yes I agree with you on Rumer but I LOVED her dress...Demi def. forked over some dough for Zoe to style her spawn for the big night, too. Oh and doesn't she just seem OLD to be Miss Golden Globes??? I dunno, she just LOOKED old up there, yet she was all hunched over and insecure like a little gawl. I love when Mama Demi told her to "stand up straight." Oy.

  2. I dont think the Henna hair updo did anything to help Rumer look her age. Most of the time she looks very 80's punk, so I think you are spot on, Zoe went into overdrive, trying to pretty her up.
    I watched The Fashion Police on E!
    I think Peter Perfect and I maybe biologically linked...I agreed with all of his snarky call outs!
    Nude gowns NEVER sell, so I hope this runway trend does not translate to the designers collections...Not too many of us look our best in Misty Mocha.

    Thanks for checking in!




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