Review: FakeBake Golden Faux Glo Shimmer Instant Tan Lotion

FakeBake Golden Faux Glo Shimmer ($18.95)

Just today, there was an article in the New York Times Fashion & Style section, featured an article on the trend towards "lighteners and brighteners". 

No thanks. Though I have officially given up the sun, I will never officially want to give up appearing golden.
Over the years I have tried dozens of self tanners and bronzers.  Just for sh*ts and giggles, I even went back to my very first self tanner (after Q-T), Clarins Auto-Bronzante,  to see if it live up to my nostalgic memories...it didn't.

I also don't have the patience for applying tinted self tanners, hunting for streaks and having to wait 20 minutes to re-enter the human race.

What is a Girl to do?