Friday, June 13, 2008
O.K., I am the first to admit thumbing my nose at network television, in favor of the off beat fare offered on cable, however, I have my exceptions...Two shows captured my attention like a roadside pile up, "Extreme Makeover", (Beauty, not Home. Is it just me, or does Ty Pennington look like he needs a few weeks at Betty Ford)? and "The Swan". Both had similar premises, taking hopelessly, unattractive, unfashionable, overweight women and re tooling them so they could pass for a reasonably attractive Hostess at a Las Vegas eatery. It was smashing!!!
I never had much patience for the stuff in the middle, but the first and last 10 minutes were riveting. Typically, a contestant would in one surgical session, receive the equivalent of all the reconstruction Cher has endured in a 25 year span.
"Missy's" makeover will include: A brow lift, upper and lower eye lift, rhinoplasty, chin and cheek implants, 14 porcelain veneers, Botox, Restylane, a chemical peel, Lasik eye surgery, hair extensions, a breast lift and silicone implants, a tummy tuck and upper and lower body liposuction. Really??? On "Missy", or a cadaver??? Painfully, swollen and still bandaged like the English Patient, "Missy" would then be put on a rigorous diet and exercise regime. The end game, was to appear in a plunging full length Nolan Miller gown, to the gasping applause of family and friends.
So, wha happind??? Both of these shows, virtually, vanished, despite banner ratings...Did some vocal society form an Ethical Treatment of the Sad and Hopeless, and start a movement? Did the medical profession take umbrage at their peers, for trampling the Hippocratic Oath, "First Do No Harm"? Or, were the networks simply overrun by thousands of hopefuls wishing to be made into completely, different human beings? John becomes Jane??? Sounds like a Holiday special to me.
What do you say girls, should we start a grass roots effort, to lobby the networks for another go? I know a fine spot to do some recruiting...a little slice of Americana called Disney World. They could fill that dance card in fifteen minutes flat. Oh stop tsk tsking...the image of bad perms, bad skin, and 60 oz. soda's is permanently etched in my consciousness and yours too.