The Clock Stops Here...

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tivo Time

Everyone has their limitations. Mine are numerous, but generally confined to reading maps, following printed instructions and mastering anything vaguely technical, which includes gift wrapping.

I am never the first one to be sporting the newest gadget, because it requires skill, to master them. I finally purchased a cell phone, after I was stuck on the West Side Highway for four hours, (due to a fatal head on collision), with no way to contact my housekeeper or near frantic husband. I bought an IPod, only after the lovely man at the Apple Store, showed me that there was a whole library of music to choose from, and would not require me to try to resurrect my favorites from memory. And I finally cracked and bought a Blackberry, when I realized, this past December, that it was the quickest way, to be in touch with my client's husbands, about Holiday gifts, deftly, sidestepping their Assistants. It's a Brave New World out there Mrs. Flinstone...get with the program!

And so, I have been a Tivo hold out, because I get palpitations, just thinking about the instruction manual. Tonight, I have reached the point where action must be taken, albeit too late...

Both the Real Housewives of the Orange County and Nip/Tuck , are on at 10 p.m. How can I possibly choose??? I simply, cannot take my eyes, off the O.C. Housewives freckle laden, massive implants, snowy veneers, frozen foreheads and stringy extensions. It's human nature...could I avert my eyes, when I finally got to pass that car crash??? Of course not. This is my idea of heaven.

Nip/Tuck, back for the new season, has gorgeous, womanizing, Christian Troy, battling breast cancer. The previews for tonight, showed Christian, hooking up with a beauty, at his breast cancer support group. Despite not having a brca 1 or 2 mutation, the hook up, has an extensive family history of breast cancer, and wants to go ahead with a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy. On this subject, I am somewhat of an expert, having helped many women, find their way to Dr. Andrew Salzberg, my genius Plastic Surgeon. Dr. Salzberg pioneered a procedure that moi, nicknamed the "Alloderm One Step". What this spectacular procedure accomplishes, for women, at familiar high risk, is to dramatically reduce their breast cancer risk, in one surgery, with beautiful cosmetic results. It is a brilliant option and a real life one, at that, (check out and for support and friendship

My mind is made up...I know I won't be able to resist seeing what type of surgery, if any, Dr. Troy recommends. Though T.V. medical dramas, take huge liberties with facts and reality, at least on some level, it raises awareness. Somehow, I will find out, if Vicki manages to dupe Don, into selling their vacation house, to pay for the new boat---If I only had a brain...


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Wanted: Girls Getaway

Destination: Anywhere the mercury is above 75 degrees with a well crafted bed and a squeaky clean spa. Duration: Long weekend or longer. Group Size: The more the merrier, (two to a room, max). Requirements: Gotta love to laugh. No whiners, night owls preferred.

I've got a mean case of the mid-winter blues...pale and pasty, no desire to shop, (even for make up), cranky. Anyone else feeling the same way?

If so, let me know...we are soooo out of here!!!


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Boo Wu!!!

Let's start with all the good stuff!!! I think yesterday's Inauguration was magnificent and every American, should be proud of our country...The world was watching and we never looked more unified and joyous.

--Sasha and Malia, looked beyond adorable, in their J.Crew outfits.

--Barack is gorgeous. He looked both elegant and Presidential, day and night.

--Though I thought Michelle's, Isabel Toledo, lemongrass ensemble looked a tad, Candace Bergen, as Mother of the Bride, (attending her daughter's daytime wedding, at Mar-A-Lago), she still looked regal and radiated beauty. I would have preferred the coat to be a few inches shorter, and would have swapped the Jimmy Choo asparagus patent pumps for nude suede. Big props for finding a way, of not looking like Na Nook of the North, despite the frigid temps...I personally would have needed a hooded mink jumpsuit, to have survived the day.

--Wu who??? I was very disappointed in the white, Jason Wu gown, that Michelle chose to wear to the Inaugural Ball's. I thought it looked like a cross between Shari Lewis's Lamp Chop and an Italian wedding cake. It didn't flatter her figure, didn't help the retailers and was just not special enough. While her classic Bob looks lovely by day, last night would have been a perfect night for something more glamorous, particularly since Michelle looks glorious with her hair swept back...again, not special enough.

I think the last First Lady, who remotely cared about fashion, whether it was your taste or not, was Nancy Regan. We might not like everything Michelle chooses to wear as First Lady, but at least she has a point of view and millions of Americans, will be riveted to the Style pages and influenced by her choices.

Now, if only, they were my choices!!!


Monday, January 19, 2009

Deja Vu

For a long time, I have been obsessed with the concept of a lipstain...a liquid, that would dry indelibly and would stay on, all day, through every meal, and a dozen beverages. If the only way to get it off at night, was with sulfuric acid, I'd be game. With a semi permanent lipstain, I would no longer have to constantly worry about reapplying my lipstick, because even if it came off, there would still be a significant amount of pigment on my pucker.

When lipsticks first came out, that promised 16 hour non transfer wear, I thought I could retire my secret fantasy, of having my lips tattooed. Most of these products, required putting on a coat of sticky, lacquer, pacing, stoically, while it dried, completely, before, blissfully, being able to apply the clear balm, that would allow you to speak, (think, of the Tin Man, begging for his oil can).

Next, I tried Benefit's Benetint...a bestseller that has the unfortunate result, of making me look like I have spent the day munching on pomegranate seeds.

So, when I bumped into Covergirl's Outlast Lipstain in the "what's new" aisle at CVS, I was ecstatic... Apparently, my delight was shared by others, since out of the entire 48 piece display, only two Lipstain "markers" were left, both in "Bit of Blossom". Did I care that the blossom happened to be fuscia, not a bit...It was coming home with Mama.

I usually apply, all, new lipstick purchases in the rear view mirror as soon as I enter my car, (apologies to all those who have waited patiently for my spot, none to the honkers). This time, I managed to wait till I got home. Outlast Lipstain, functions, exactly, like a felt tip marker, which happens to apply, very nicely...I know this for a fact, since as I was in the middle of my application, I had a deja vu of all the times, I used my Magic Marker Doodlers, to just the same effect as a child, (I guess they weren't toxic).

The only thing that was particularly alarming was that Bit of Blossom is actually Bit of Magenta, (definitely go for one or two shades lighter, then you think you will need). Though it was lightweight and could actually do double duty as a lip liner, nothing in my lipstick closet, could make this hideous color look anything other than Revlon's, Cherries in the Snow. Out of curiosity, I went on CoverGirl's website, to see what other colors are available. The website offers the option to submit your coloring, so the site, can then suggest your best shade options, for all new products, when you log in. Naturally, I complied. Their Outlast Lipstain suggestion? "Teasing Blush". Admittedly, it looks exactly right...on paper anyway---but so did my Magic Markers. Apparently, lips are a whole, other canvas.


P.S. I am all a twitter for the Inauguration tomorrow...can't wait to see Michelle's gown, oh and congratulations to Barack too.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Glow on the Go

I got an email the other day, from Jene Luciani, the gorgeous Fashion and Beauty Editor of The Wag and author of her own Blog, Beauty and the Burbs. "Any chance you will be in the City next week"? "Nope", what's going on"?, I replied.

Bendel's, is doing a major product launch, (January 12-19th), at their famed beauty bar, for Reversital, a 3 in 1, MicrodermaStick and her friend Margeaux, was handling the P.R. One product, that will cleanse, resurface and moisturize, imparting a Bio-Active Hydration Shield, that lasts for 24 hours. I love multi-taskers! I also used to treat myself to Microdermabrasion treatments occasionally, during flusher times. Microdemarbrasion is fabulous for reviving tired skin, and does help with fine lines and sun spots, if done on a regular basis. The best part is that there was never any "down" time, hence, earning the nickname, the "lunchtime peel". When Neutrogena, introduced their battery operated, handheld microdermabrasion system, I was quick to purchase it. After a heady start of regular use, it has languished, half dead, on the top shelf of my medicine cabinet, for quite some time, (going the way of countless exercise gizmo's and videos, I have purchased over the years, not in the trash can, but not in use).

The Reversital MicrodermaStick, sounded right up my low tech alley. Jene arranged for me to receive the one designed for Face, Throat and Decollete, to test drive and it couldn't be any simpler!

The product is actually a stick, that you wind up, like deodorant, to dispense on damp skin, in a circular motion, for 10 seconds. It definitely had the same texture has a professional peel, since both use aluminum oxide crystals. The first time, I sink rinsed, the second time, I rinsed in the shower, since it can be wee bit of a challenge, not to be left a little gritty. The shower is, absolutely, the better alternative. My skin felt instantly clean, silky and hydrated. My makeup applied beautifully afterwards and OH! What a GLOW!!!...I am loving it!

An entire stick, at $95, is less than one microdermabrasion treatment. I barely made a dent in it, after two applications, so I am optimistic, that the MicrodermaStick, would more than pay for itself. So you New Yawk girls, pop into Bendel's and take your own Reversital MicrodermaStick for a test drive...I promise, you are not leaving without it. You may be a little poorer, but your skin will look like a million bucks...


P.S. Out of town or just too busy??? Don't be left out, dull and flaky! Call Henri Bendel at 212-245-8346. I am sure they would be happy to send you one and if you call, within the next 6 minutes...

Monday, January 12, 2009

Rumer Rumor's

O.K.- Here's how this is going to go...Having committed to the 66th Golden Globes last night, (leaving Jack Bauer to fend for himself), I am going to give voice to all the ugly truths and no, tsk tsking, because you were thinking, the exact same thing.

Firstly, the nice nice. The Golden Globes are usually a more low key affair than the Oscar's, but I loved that everyone duded up. We could use a huge dose of glamour, at this moment. For the most part, strapless gowns, with statement jewelry ruled and here is who rocked it:

The divine and charming Kate Winslet, Anne Hathaway, Laura Linney, Olivia Wilde, Penelope Cruz, Demi Moore and Eva Langoria Parker, (who finally laid off on those doughnuts).

Secondly, do you know anyone, who has ever seen 30 Rock???
I don't. Though, if Tina Fey's acting skills, mimic her comic mimicry, perhaps she deserves all, of the awards she has garnered. But golly, wouldn't it be swell if somebody else got to have one??? Obviously, the Hollywood Foreign Press does not subscribe to Showtime...if they did, Mary Louise Parker would be packing her Globe this morning.

Thirdly, not to be mean, BUT...what's the story with Sally Field's neck? Susan Sarandon's teeth? Anna Pacquin's tooth? Jennifer Lopez's ears? Jennifer Lopez's arse? (Were the twins under there)? Debra Messing's head? And Maggie Gylenhaal's powder blue, one shoulder, cheetah gown, Why make things worse, when she already has to contend with a prettier sibling???

What about, The Curious Case of Dustin Hoffman? I am fairly certain, that Emma Thompson, in a black moo moo, gave birth to him, on stage last night.

Was that Renee Zellweger, or, Sharon Stone, presenting in Morticia's costume from the Addam's Family?

Was that Eva Mendes, or, Jane Jetson, presenting in those ivory curtains?

Was that Drew Barrymore, or, Jane Mansfield, reincarnate, sporting that platinum blond bouffant?

And finally, is there any truth to the rumor about Rumer? Bruce Willis, allegedly, is not her biological father... Rumer, is the progeny of Demi Moore and Jay Leno, (during a legal separation, of course)...

Alright, so I started it...but it's possible...don't ya think???


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A Flash in the Can

I always take time off between Christmas and New Year's. I love being in my home, decorated for the Holidays, and catching up with friends and family. The most productive thing that gets accomplished is the annual purge.

Kitchen junk drawers and closets that house shopping bags get stripped. Old books go to the local Library's swap bin, video games and basketballs get donated. Everything in my winter closet gets rehung and reorganized by category. It is not fun, but necessary and it feels good to start the New Year off, literally with my house in order.

The biggest undertaking, is assessing what has accumulated under my bathroom vanity. Holy crap!!! CVS called and they want aisle 3 back... Most things have at least been test driven, but how can it be, that I have a whole basket devoted to self tanners, some of which are still sealed? Sprays, gels, tinted lotions, clear potions and mousse are in residence from Loreal, Too Faced, Laura Mercier, Neutrogena and Lancome.

I have developed a mean case of the winter pasties, so at random, I chose Lancome's Flash Bronzer, Tinted Self-Tanning Moisturizing Mousse, for the body. Since I don't really believe there is anything written that says I cannot apply it to my face, I am going for it, head to toe. I know well enough, to first, thoroughly exfoliate in the shower and to make sure excess product doesn't stain my knees, elbows, eyebrows and fingers. I take my chances and apply it over my Neutrogena Sesame Oil, hoping I won't have spend time, blow drying my naked body, to avoid staining my clothes.

Upon reading the directions, I discover the infamous phrase, "Not for Individual Sale", printed at the bottom. This may explain, why the mousse tint is the color of Gerber's Baby's First Carrots, not one I would normally choose. It was a freebie. Nonetheless, I continue. It is lightweight and a little, surprisingly covers a lot of turf. It has a slightly iridescent glow and dried quickly. I prefer tinted self tanners. If I missed something, like a calf, I can remedy it now, rather than trying to color it in later, or remove something large and amoeba shaped with battery acid. (Self tanning is not for novices or sissies).

Net, net I have an immediate glow and to my delight, have evenly developed a light "tan" during the day. Good Stuff. Tomorrow morning I will double dip. I can't wait to find out what other shades are available to buy, but maybe I should hold out for awhile and just do a little shopping under the sink...


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Leading Lady

Happy, Healthy New Year!!! I will admit, that the last three months of 2008 have been a bit of a drag. I am so hopeful that the excitement of the upcoming Inauguration and the more thoughtful policies of Obama administration, will lead us to better times in 2009.

Now let's talk about "the" gown. The eyes of the entire world, will be on Michelle Obama and this time, let's hope she doesn't muck it up.

If I were lucky enough to have her as my client, here is what I would recommend:

1) An A list American Designer. Someone whose aesthetic is modern, youthful and feminine. Retailers need a little pat on the caboose at this time. An upcoming, unknown, is not what we need at this moment, to get women back in the stores. My number one pick, would be Michael Kors. The gown he sketched at left, is a great start... There will be a zillion state dinners, where that she can wear international or lesser known designers.

2) Michelle should play to her strengths. She has beautiful, broad shoulders and fantastically toned arms. She could easily wear a strapless, one shoulder, or bateau neck gown, with a slightly cut in arm hole. She is regally tall, and has a small waist, which should also be emphasized. I would not like to see anything too straight or with a tulip bottom, which would highlight her wide hips. Something A-line, but with beautiful movement, will look more modern than a ball skirt.

3) Keep it solid. We have already seen how tricky prints can read on camera, with her red, Narcisco Rodriquez (for Target), bulls eye dress, on election night.

4) Go for color. Sapphire, iris and gold would be my first choices. It should be bold and beautiful, like Michelle. Nothing pastel or wishy washy.

5) Something simple, but with gorgeous texture, that can be accessorized, with the large statement jewelry, that Michelle tends to favor.

6) Be Mrs. O., not, "Mrs. O." Jackie was an American style icon. Her carefully chosen wardrobe reflected her elegant, personal taste and she never let us down. Michelle too, has a strong sense of personal style...On this historic night, she needs to look like herself, a brilliant, accomplished woman, wife and mother, our new First Lady.

Think Ryan Seacrest will be covering this on the E channel??? I am even more excited over the fashion faux pas that await us at the Inauguration, than I am over the Academy Awards. No swans or tu tu's for Michelle...I am betting she knocks it out of the park...Here's hoping!!!



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