The Clock Stops Here...

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Eggs Over Easy

Linen 'n Things, has never been one of my, "go to" has a slightly, downtrodden, feel to it. If it was a sweater, it would be lint color, with suede elbow patches (I was sorry to hear about their Chapter 11 filing, but not surprised).

With 16 minutes of spare time and consumer confidence at a 16 year low, I thought I might find, very high thread count sheets at 1992 such luck. I moved on to household cleaning products and proceeded to the check out area, which is merchandised to set your impulse neurons, afire. And there, I spotted it, the Jewel in the Crown. "The Ped Egg", as, "Advertised on T.V.". There has been a ripple of buzz surrounding this puppy, have you heard about it? A razor sharp, cheese grater is nestled in a palm sized egg, which, when rubbed on the bottom of your feet, "eliminates calluses and dry skin". The beauty of the design, is that all the nasty, pulverized, dermis, gets neatly collected, in the bottom of the egg. You don't think I could possibly take a pass on this, do you?

Though I manage to drive all the way home without using it, it occurs to me, that I don't even know, if I have calluses or dry feet. I detest dirt, so I am rarely barefoot, I am a uber regular on the summer pedicure circuit and I regularly, slather my feet in moisturizer. I honestly didn't know what I would find down there. How would they stack up, to say a waitress or a traffic cop??? I haven't a clue, but I am game. I ramp up my egg for duty and get to work...Though the instructions call for firm, but gentle pressure, I am approaching this more tentatively. This is after all, me, I am mutilating. Now I better understand the facial expression on the cartoon muse on the package. Wrapped in a terry turban and towel, she looks like a raven haired Ann Boleyn, morning of.

There is some excitement to be had...I am as eager to see what is inside that egg, as I would be unwrapping a perfectly bowed gift from Hermes or Tiffany. Hmmmmm...that's it??? Oh, well. I follow through to the next step, attaching an emery board to the bottom of the egg for, "further smoothing and maintenance". This I do with a little more zeal, as the emery portion will probably not sever an artery. Next I finished with my own home spun routine; soap, water, a washcloth, some Bliss foot balm and a pair of fluffy cotton socks.

After all of that, I think my old fashioned unfancy footwork, was just as effective...Sometimes there's no place like home, Auntie Em. You go looking for your foot's desire and end up just as happy in a pair of tube socks...go figure.


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