The Clock Stops Here...

Monday, March 8, 2010

All About Oscar

What a mess!!! As a Cablevision customer, I stewed all day about not being able to watch the Academy Awards. I live for the fashion spectacle of the major awards could this be???

Net net, it forced me to tune into the E Channel at 6pm, when the bathroom attendants normally arrive. Ryan Seacrest is NOT who I want getting my fashion poop from, mostly because he can't even remember to ask the Jane, Sally, Dick of runway q's...who are you wearing?

I have fallen in love, with Alec Baldwin's comedic charms since It's Complicated and thought he would make a terrific host with Steve Martin. I don't know how they opened the show, since channel 7 did not deem us worthy until 17 minutes into the show. I would love to have seen more of them, because I found the AA's to be the dullest careful what you wish for.

Anyway, enough of my rant. Let's move on the good the bad and the ugly. Whole lotta strapless going on, most of it with unadorned necks...when it was worn by Mariska Hargitay and Kate Winslet, it looked Oscah worthy and bling appropriate. The men, all tidied up, in classic formal wear with onyx studs and black bow ties, looked elegant...please repeat. Improvised black tie is a bore.

A+- The Trifecta:Perfect gown hair and makeup;
Demi was divine, in a Versace stunner, Rachel McAdam's in Elie Saab, Penelope Cruz in Donna Karan, Helen Mirren in Badgley Mischka, Maggie Gyllenhal in Dries Van Noten, one of the only prints of the night. Mariska Hargitay in a midnight navy Vera Wang.

A- Great but flawed;
Sandra Bullock. LOVED the Marchesa gown, didn't love the hair and makeup, though many did. Kate Winslet in YSL, quietly pretty, no snap. Kristen Stewart in a navy Monique L'hullier, a little old and a little Goth. SJP. I may be the only one on the planet who liked this Chanel Couture gown, which looked vaguely modern day Breakfast at Tiffany's to me. The two tone unicorn horn hairstyle, was puzzling, but suited the gown. Elizabeth Banks (who is she btw)???, had on a lovely lavender chiffon Versace, marred by a sleek helmet of overly peroxfried, blonde hair, that looked tangerine tinged . Adorable Carey Mulligan, looked age appropriate in Prada, but anemic with too blonde hair, that detracted from her fresh faced beauty.

B- Solid;
Mo'nique, Queen Latifah, Amanda Seyfried, Nicole Richie, and Gabourey Sidibe who was exuberant in Marchesa.

C+ (Most Improved);
Mariah Carey in Valentino, matronly, but, with her ta tas covered. Anna Kendrick in a blush, off the shoulder Elie Saab, minutes after removing her shower cap, (which believe it or not, was an improvement over her Golden Globes gown) and Miley Cirus, with her hair brushed. I thought Cameron Diaz was looking mighty M.O.B. in Oscar, but at least she look like she cared, for a change.

D for "Do Over";
Charlize Theron in a Dior with lilac Pillsbury Cinnamon buns over her breasts and train to match with jarring tomato lipstick. J. Lo in Armani Prive with a train wreck of a train, that looked liked the twins were hiding under it, Diane Kruger in a Chanel Little Bo Peep number, that will be adored. Sigourney Weaver in a Statue of Liberty frock, Vera Farmiga looking overwhelmed, in a red ruffled Marchesa, (which reminded me of Christina Hendricks frothy misstep, in Christian Siriano at the Globes, but without all those gorgeous fleshy curves, which nearly redeemed it), Zoe Saldana look quite pretty from the bust up but OY, the bottom looked like a Chita Rivera dance costume from West Side Story. Tina Fey in a black one shouldered, leopard print dress, that looked like something Betty Rubble would have worn on New Year's Eve, to the Water Buffalo Lodge. Last but not least, Meryl. I love her, but she always looks like she just rummaged in her closet. This old thing??? YES!!!...that old thing. 3 suggestions: hire the Costume Designer from It's Complicated, hire Dame Helen's stylist, hire me (I will donate my services).

Snarkfest, over and out. E tu???




  1. Love it Debbi. I , too, adored SJP's dress. LOVED it. I loved Meryl too ,though. Not perfect ,it would have benefited from a very big diamond necklace a la Mirren, but I still liked it. My tops in my post today were Mirren, SJP, Meryl and Queen Latifah. It was a rather boring red carpet, and a really boring show :)

  2. Yes Diane!!! Bring on the Bling! That would have sshhuzzed it up nicely! I might have to do an edit...just saw a close up of Zoe Saldana's IS dreadful!! Pretty girl though!
    The Tweeting took a little edge of the boredom!

    Thx for checking in.

  3. I thought the most ghastly looking person of the night was Barbara Streisand. Not that she ever dressed well, but the no makeup deal made her look like she was really ill, and what was the deal with that suit/outfit/pirates of penzance getup? I missed most of the awards so I can't comment on much else except I was sad that Avatar lost.

  4. OMG! Good point...I was more than half asleep by then. This just came flooding back like a bad dream. I will google and inspect. Pretty sure it must have been Donna Karan. She usually only wears DK exclusively to major public events.

    I almost feel like the whole Hurt Locker vs Avatar was so political. I am not sure when its all said and done, why there was so much sentiment against Avatar, though I am sure Hurt Locker is a fine (small) film.

    Thanks for checking in!


  5. I thought Mariska Hargitay perfect. from head to toe. What is a beautiful woman

  6. Loved reading all your thoughts on the Oscars. I, too, liked SJPs look. Hosted a virtual Oscar shindig on my Facebook page and had a blast trading opinions with friends during the show. I think you are spot on with almost all of your assessments. Alec B. stole my heart in "It's Complicated". I thought Miley looked darling but may be the youngest person ever with a dowager's hump. Kathryn Bigelow looked great, I was stunned to learn her age, however, as she stood and turned to applaud for another winner I got the tiniest glimpse of a bra strap. My remark regarding that was, "Hey, Kathryn Bigelow, it's your big night. Nominated for an Oscar. You just might be the first female director to win. And, as a bonus, if you win you can finally stick it to your ex-husband. So, Kathy, you didn't think this night was worthy of a STRAPLESS bra. You didn't think anyone would notice. Well I did and... so will James Cameron's new wife." Naturally, after she won I was the first to forgive her for that little strap mishap.

    Regarding Sigourney Weaver, I haven't seen one of those one-shoulder Goddess numbers that was flattering on anyone. Even the young harlet winner of "The Bachelor" looked shapeless and bland in one. Well, again, I enjoyed reading your Oscar reviews and look forward to checking back regularly to see what you are blogging about.

  7. I couldn't agree more! Love that she chose midnight instead of black, loved that she didn't go the bun route, loved that she wore a necklace instead of the trend of the night, strapless and bare. Definitely her own woman!


  8. Just wikied Kathryn, Wow! She looks much younger. Good catch on the bra strap! She looked to me like she was mentally chorusing, "stand up straight, suck it in", when she was on the RC. A huge accomplishment though! I was also unaware until yesterday that she was Cameron's Ex!

    I am in total agreement about one continued strongly this Spring in many collections. Most of my clients would rather see it on someone else (though I too, have yet to see it look good)! Ready to move on from this trend. I thought Tina Fey looked AWFUL!!! Michael Kors could very well have made my Betty Rubble comment to a contestant on Project Runway about his own frock!

    Please visit again and share your thoughts!


  9. I thought Demi Moore looked lovely, and I really liked SJP's dress, but hated the hair. I wish she wouldn't line her tiny eyes so deeply too - it makes them look smaller. I thought Sandra Bullock looked so uncomfortable in her dress that it made me not like it. I also thought Faith Hill's hair and makeup and earrings were absolutely gorgeous - just so so on the dress. And I agree about J LO. What the hell was the train coming out of the side? And from TV the dress looked like bubble wrap instead of the beautiful fabric it really was.
    I think when designers do dresses for big events like this, they need to really think about how the fabric, drape, texture and especially how the color all comes across on TV. The ones who put that into consideration usually hit the bullseye.

  10. It seems like a no brainer, doesn't it Kari?
    With so many experts weighing, its hard to believe that gowns like Charlize's Couture Dior, ever make it on to the Red Carpet. But what fun would it be without all the missteps, and from Bjork to Lara Flynn Boyle, the public has a very LONG memory!!!




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